A Year That Didn’t Go to Plan, and Why I’m Grateful It Didn’t

If you had asked me at the beginning of 2025 what I thought the year was going to look like, I would’ve told you I felt pretty confident about it.

“I briefly mentioned this in another personal post, but what I didn’t really talk about was how that job I started at the beginning of the year would end before the year was even over, and how I’d find myself unexpectedly starting somewhere new again.”

I was just starting a new role in pharmacy, my main line of work, at a company that had previously been my client through my independent pharmacy consulting. They created a full-time position for me to help build and lead their pharmacy department. It felt like a meaningful next step in my professional career, one that combined trust, opportunity, and a chance to lead and build something from the ground up.

At the time, I knew it was a bit of a risk, because my prior job was stable and I was getting comfortable with the role as the work was slowly becoming repetitive. And for most of the year, it paid off.

For about ten months, things moved forward steadily. The work was demanding, but it was fulfilling in experiences that I would never have gotten if I continued on with my prior role. I learned what it really means to lead a team, to build a program from scratch on my own, and to communicate effectively with leadership in a small, fast-moving company. I stretched in ways I hadn’t before, professionally and personally. There were long days, all nighters, difficult decisions, and a lot of responsibility; but most importantly a lot of growth.

At that point, if you had asked me how the year was going, I probably would’ve said it was hard, but great.

Then things began to change.

When Effort Isn’t the Issue

In the final couple of months, the work environment shifted. Company priorities started to become unclear and disorganized. I started getting pulled in multiple directions at once, often without clear guidance or alignment. Despite repeated conversations, meetings I proactively set up, and direct requests to clarify expectations and priorities, things never quite settled.

I was explicit about what could realistically be accomplished given competing demands and limited resources. But decisions remained vague. Direction continued to stay volatile, and that uncertainty didn’t just affect me; it affected the team I was responsible for, and you could feel the tension shake throughout the broader company.

That’s a difficult place to be as a leader, especially when this was the first leadership position held. When you’re accountable for outcomes, but don’t have clarity on what success is supposed to look like.

Frustration grew. Not because the work was hard, but because it was unclear and ultimately having a bunch of work and not knowing what moves the needle makes it difficult to discern. And over time, it became obvious that no amount of effort on my part was going to resolve that misalignment.

Making a Decision I Never Expected to Make

Eventually, I made a decision I never thought I’d be in a position to make in my professional career.

I chose to leave.

I stepped away without another role lined up, without a transition, and without knowing exactly what was next. And that choice didn’t come lightly. It came after a lot of reflection, hard conversations (with myself, friends, and family), and an honest assessment of what staying would cost, not just to me and my quality of life, but to the team I was also leading and how it’d impact them.

Walking away from something you built is never easy. But sometimes staying means accepting conditions that quietly erode your sense of clarity, purpose, or integrity.

And that wasn’t a trade I was willing to make.

What Came Next

What surprised me was how quickly the next chapter came together.

It didn’t take long for me to find another opportunity, which I was incredibly grateful for, and that experience reinforced something I already knew but hadn’t fully appreciated until then; the value of relationships and strong professional networks that I built at the beginning of my career. People you’ve worked with, shown up for, and built trust with matter more than any résumé bullet point ever will.

About a month ago, I started a new role. It’s early, but I’m hopeful. Energized and looking forward instead of bracing myself. And that alone tells me I made the right decision.

Why I’m Grateful This Year Didn’t Go to Plan

Looking back now, I can say this clearly: 2025 didn’t go according to plan, and I’m grateful for it.

I’m grateful for what I learned about leadership, communication, and boundaries. Grateful for the reminder that effort doesn’t fix misalignment. Grateful for the uncomfortable conversations and clarity that comes when something no longer fits, even if it once did.

Most of all, I’m grateful for the trust I learned to place in myself, to recognize when it was time to move on, even without certainty, and to speak up for myself and believe that clarity will follow action.

As I head into 2026, I’m not carrying grand resolutions or rigid expectations. What I’m carrying instead is perspective. A quieter confidence. And a deeper understanding that sometimes the years that don’t go to plan are the ones that prepare you most for what’s next.

If you’ve made it this far, I hope this season gives you space to reflect, not just on what worked, but on what shaped you in ways you didn’t anticipate.

Merry Christmas, and here’s to stepping into 2026 with clarity, courage, and a little more trust in ourselves!